Why What You’re Doing Hasn’t Worked Yet…

Getting Unstuck, Learning and Developing, Skillset

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There is a common question amongst my fellow self-help junkies that essentially boils down to this: I’ve read all the books, I’ve done the seminars, I’ve listened to all the podcasts… why haven’t I seen the changes happen in my life?

Let me tell you a quick story…

The Young Man and the Master Carpenter

There once was a young man who dreamed of becoming a carpenter, so he sought out a master carpenter of great renown.

He asked the master to teach him the secrets of the art of carpentry. But the master carpenter said that he didn’t teach and to go and look somewhere else.

The young man begged and pleaded until finally the master carpenter agreed to teach the young man on one condition. He must prove his dedication to learning by building the master carpenter a house.

So the young man set about assembling materials and tools, he spent hours crafting a plan, and then worked very diligently until many weeks later he had built a simple, yet functional house. He presented it to the master.

“Will it stand up to the elements?” asked the master carpenter. The young man assured him that it would.

So the master walked around the house examining the young man’s work. Before his first circuit was complete, he took out his hammer and aimed a careful blow on the foundation of the house.

The entire structure collapsed.

“How could you do that?” the young man asked. “I worked so hard on that house!” The master told him simply that if a house couldn’t stand to a tap from a hammer, then it would never stand against the elements. Try again.

So the young man went back to work. He spent days understanding what had gone wrong and many more creating a plan that would fix it. He spent months painstakingly creating the new house and when he finally finished, he presented his work.

“Will it stand against the elements?” the master asked. The young man assured him that this time it would, for he had fixed all of the flaws from the first time. Again the master began to examine his work.

Before his second circuit was complete, he took out his hammer and aimed a careful blow on the frame of the house.

Again, the entire structure collapsed.

This time the young man made no protests. He simply began to clear away the rubble.

After a considerable time, he was finally ready to present his work to the master.

Again the master asked and again the man answered. So the master again began to examine his work.

After 3 circuits, the master took out his hammer and struck hard at the wall of the house.

It barely made a mark.

Exalted, the man asked the master carpenter if he would finally agree to teach him. The master carpenter looked at him, smiled, and said, “I can find no flaws in this house. There is nothing more that I can teach you.”

When we want more from life, it can be tempting to seek out knowledge. It is a useful strategy to find those who have gone before, but seeking knowledge can quickly become a trap. It’s tempting to wait to understand every aspect of an undertaking before beginning. That way we can minimize failure.

The problem is that while knowledge is a useful tool for planning our path, there is no substitute for walking the path. It can be frustrating, exhausting, and embarrassing to have our hard work collapse in a pile in front of us, but ultimately we don’t grow despite failure. We grow because of failure.

We don't grow despite failure. We grow because of it.

In the story, the the master’s hammer represents the necessary risk of putting ourselves in the world. If we don’t expose ourselves to challenge, there is no movement, no growth, no change. The downside is that when the storm inevitably arrives, we find our walls collapse around us, leaving us fragile and exposed.

Understanding the theory of how or why something works will never be enough to make the thing work. Imagine trying to learn to ride a bike from a book. No matter how well you prepare mentally for what has to happen when you get on the bike, nothing can prepare you for the physical experience of actually riding the bike.

There is nothing wrong with reading books, listening to podcasts, or attending seminars. The pursuit of knowledge is undeniably valuable, but its real value is in preparing you for action. Without acting one what you’ve learned — by making hypotheses, experimenting, failing, and trying again — the house you are building will remain vulnerable to every storm that passes.

Do the practice. You’re worth it.

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