In part one of this series on provocative conversations we discussed mining small talk for conversational gold, in the second part we explored how to find topics with universal appeal, in this section we will get a bit more playful with some conversational games you can play to increase engagement…
Technique the Third — Conversational Games
This is one of my favorite conversational techniques. It involves the use of prepared conversational topics or games to create playful connections and reveal a deeper meaning.
To play the games, you present a scenario to build a context and then ask a question based on the scenario. Language is naturally symbolic, so these scenarios tap into a deeper layer of meaning than the obvious. When people answer the questions, they are reflecting on these deeper layers.
Zombie Apocalypse Weapon of Choice 
I love this game. It works especially well in groups because people like to hear the interpretations of other people’s answers.
The scenario:
The zombie apocalypse breaks out tomorrow. Hordes of the undead wander aimlessly, searching for unprotected brains. Chaos and carnage have taken over the streets. What’s the one weapon you want to make sure you get your hands on?
I’d encourage you to answer, as authentically as you can right now so that you can play along. What is your zombie-apocalypse-weapon-of-choice?
The analysis:
Zombies represent the endless challenges of life. The weapon we choose is a symbol of how we approach those challenges.
Did you pick a ranged weapon? Planning is probably important to you. The more range, the more you probably plan in advance.
Was your weapon close range? Then you probably trust in some combination of your flexibility and endurance to handle your challenges.
There are so many truths contained in the choice of symbol, that the interpretations can be virtually limitless. This is part of what makes the game fun. Just pick some part of the form or function of the weapon and relate it to some personality trait or strategy.
Also, feel free to ask the person if there are any meanings in the weapon that you missed. This is a very reliable way to spark engagement and a great way to get to know people better.
This game is just one example that I created, but you can make these up about anything. Because we can only talk about our own relationship with reality (it’s the only thing we have access to… I’ll save that for another post), you can pick any symbol as a basis for self-exploration.
For more examples, check out the book Kokology. It’s full of ready-made games and some sample interpretations of each.
Remember that the purpose of all of these conversational techniques is to discover and connect on what is important or meaningful to each of you. There are no right or wrong answers, just ever greater levels of meaning and connection. Stay curious, get interested, and have fun and you will never want for meaningful conversation again.
